God made man and then rested. God
made women and then no one rested
The longest sentence known to man:
"I do."
CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI
trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the
dogs is reading this
Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean
my job is a crime?
This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog,
way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog,
seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.
Why were males created before
females?
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
I want to suck you... lick you...
wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how
u...eat an ice cream!
ALGEBRA: A weapon of math
destruction.
Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a
shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it, put it on a
hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p.
Do you ever notice that when you're
driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster
than you is a maniac?
Q:What is the difference between a
wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!
A:About 45 pounds!!
Q: What is the difference between a
smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of
UFOs.
I think drinking and driving is
terrible. You always spill it when you change gears...
There was this Eskimo chick who
spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months
pregnant.
What did the elephant say to the
naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?
How do you breathe through that thing?
What happened when the Pope went to
Mount Olive ?
Popeye beat the crap outta him.
Popeye beat the crap outta him.
I've used up all my sick days, so
I'm calling in dead.
A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon
in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says:
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
Boss: (to employee) - Experts say
humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock.
Employee: Who's there?
Boss: Not you anymore.
Employee: Who's there?
Boss: Not you anymore.
What's the diff between a
Rottwieler and a Poodle?
If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.
If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.
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